Chapter 3 - "Getting Away"
Scott leaves town and Robert Applecroft runs into some trouble.
Credits
- Director/Editor - Jonathan Grogan
- Cameraman - Jonathan Barrow
- Producer - Mike Wilson
- Writer - Megan Long
- Tony Kingston - Ben Norvell
- Scott Michaels - Blake Conley
- Tony's Henchman - Michael Miller
Scoring
Judges' Votes
"Getting Away" gets my vote in a surprisingly unsatisfying group of submissions. This entry adds more mystery than others with the cemetery dream sequence and the killing of Robert by Tony for giving the case to the "wrong guy." Camera angles are good and the dream sequence is well structured. Scott's audio is lower than the music during the cemetery scene.
This one left me more with "what next?" than any of the others. It drove the story forward.
First, I have to say that the submissions this week all seem, well, not nearly as good as the ones from the last time. This week's submissions all do have some fine moments/aspects, but far too many holes and weak spots compared the ones the last time. That said, this video clearly seems to be better thought-uot and executed than the other four. The subtle way you incorporate the final shot of chapter two (the white light that iIstill maintain WAS science fiction because it clearly came from inside that case) by strting on the white light on the lampost in the cemetary was clever and well-executed. I have to admit that I missed it on the first vieweing, but once I noticed it the second vieweing, it made the transition into your dream sequence much more clearly linked to the end of the previous chapter. As for the dream sequence. . .a nice idea, but pretty trite and over-used. The best example of this narrative "trick" to my mind is the ending episode of the Bob Newhardt series set in a New England Inn which uses it to intertext with the "famous" earlier "Dallas" use of the dream "trick"/"twist" to go from one season's final episode to the opening one of the next year. The use here does allow for a potential additional plot line in later chapters, though. But who is in the grave and why is her death a mystery to be solved? Is it in any way connected to the events in chapters one and two? if so, we probably need some clue here. . .if not, we then need some clue about what it might be about. The music is well-chosen. The gravestone reflection is a nice idea, but probably would have worked better if we first saw only the reflection, then the "real" thing. Maybe you could have first shown us the approach of the stalker in a similar shot (in which we see the appraoch but the mourning Scott does not ntocie). The cut to the apartment sequence/scene--way too out of the blue. And "I choose the latter" is totally out of character and stiff. And your ending. . .it takes away all the potential for the next chapter. Why show the killing? Torque it up, instead, with the choice of what he would do still left open. I liked the use of the extreme close-up of the note and then the voice-over to complete it. Maybe start with a VO, though, and then we see the note. . .and then we hear the ending of the VO. Lots of fine elements. Nice job.
Comments
ohhh, sweet music and make-up/blood!
One question,
How does Tony know who Robert is based off of the previous two chapters? If they belong to the same organization, then Robert would have known Scott wasn't Tony and would have given the case to the right guy. Otherwise, if you want to say they belong to different organizations, it still doesn't explain how Tony could find or even know what Robert looks like because they never saw each other in the restaurant (Tony was in the bathroom). Just seeing if I missed something.
As a mob boss he would have his ways of finding out. That goes for just about all movies with a mob boss.
kk, that would explain why Tony wasn't the one doing the beating. I guess it's just left up to the viewer to decide.
I hate hearing the camera mechanism. Use. An. External. Mic.
Lick. my. butt. We did. You heard the steady cam making noise because of the awkward angle.
Still sounds like crap. And why is your steady cam making noise?
Since this is a class project at UTK, I'd venture a "wild" guess that it has something to do with poorly maintained equipment that gets used and abused by hundreds of students year in and year out. As a student, you make do with whatever equipment you can get your hands on, and if you can't buy you borrow and hope for the best.
Good job!!!
Keep up the good work.
Interesting music choices... and the punch sounds were a little weak. Also, one last critique, I felt the cliff hanger should have been left at the gun to Robert's chest, not killing him. But hey, its your video...
megan is fat
inventive use of first-person POV shots, especially with the "blinking-eye"...very creative
Hopefully that'll be JakusB's last critique. Everyone's a critic....
JakusB is one of the few people on here who knows what he's talking about. I'd listen to him over some random person that we facebooked for a vote. I don't think he's connected to any group, so he can give an objective opinion.
Way to alienate your voters. Do you expect them to keep supporting your work now that you've told them you don't give their opinions any credit?
tsigeyua,
95 percent of the voters on here are people who know us personally and are biased anyways. The ones who will be honest with us are the ones outside our groups but still in our class, or rather the most critical which helps us in the end. Stephen just has a bug up his butt (which he thinks produces rose scented excrement).
James, I will choke the life out of you.
Ha! I like this Stephen... You are correct in saying that I'm not tied into any group. Its a shame there isn't more unbiased voters out there... As nice as it is to hear "This video is AWESOME" it doesn't really help you improve for next time.
And tsigeyua, I don't think Stephen is "isolating" anyone, but rather encouraging them to comment more seriously.
Stephen,
Not cool dude, the moment you start making death threats on a public website is the moment another person has blackmail material for life.
Snide comments aside. What exactly IS your problem? I have done absolutely nothing to harm you, or your reputation. Just because things don't go your way doesn't give you an excuse to be a pin-prick.
If you really want to go at it, lets have a little friendly video competition. Me verses you in a film cage battle, everything from pre-production to post with no outside help. If thats not something you think you could handle, then sit down and stop being arrogant. Rather, start being nice.
Dude whatever man
Really girls? Really? Wa wa, grow up. Stephen, quit picking on James, James quit crying. There, problem solved.
Great Job!
Really Jakus, really? Was your comment on any higher level of maturity?
:P
Good Job
@SwingGirl http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarcasm
What I liked: the dream sequence was unexpected and gave interesting background info in an effective way.
What needed work: I think there is some confusion between the dream sequence and the note. The first two times I watched it, I thought that the guy who got the note, Ben, was the one who left with the case, which confused me. I think if Ben didn't get up out of bed, I would have gotten it the first time. Also maybe the note would be a good place to develop the story. I know there's only 2 min. to work with but the murder scene could have been implied with just a 10 sec. clip...? Maybe with the bad guy walking away. Less the bad dude talks, more the mystery, too...
Overall, excellent!
Mark Aka @veganboy
Whoa, good job; last frame was a surprize.
Yes! Nice job guys. :)
Jana B.
There is a lot of nut loving going on here.
Nice work people. good choice of music.
My first thought was that the possibilities are endless with this video. The dream sequence was so cool - a great way to advance the story. As an outsider, I noticed things that don't have anything to do with camera sounds, etc. I thought the "punch sound" sounded real; and I figured the end was when we heard the shot - but surprise - it wasn't. I liked that it wasn't so predictable. This one gets my vote.
Mike is better then Kit!
Although a strong submission, your work is undercut by a poor audio mix. The escape sequence is bit cliched.
Awesome reflection on the head stone and varations in high and low angle's. Planning your shots paid off. Only two neg. comments: the mic mounted on the ceiling was in the shot. The beginning: your music was up a bit to high making his audio tough to hear. Otherwise-- very, very nice!
Congratulations guys! I'm excited about filming in a "different" location for the next clip!
This story also left me with 'what next?' Not the suspenseful 'what next,' but the where the hell can this story go 'what next.' Ideally, the fouth chapter would be the climax and the fifth chapter would be the resolution. Where does the story go from here? Scott has disappeared to who knows where, and none of the characters who might be interested in following him have any way to track him. To solve this problem, chapter 4 will have to focus on setting up a backstory explaining how Scott and/or the case can be tracked.......or characters can continue to be eliminated from the storyline and the rest of the chapters can focus on how much fun Scott has with whatever is in the case. Hmm, sounds exciting.
anyone who sees this should go vote for merry Christmas again in the alien chapter 6
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